1. Some days, it just don't pay to get out of bed. - Foghorn Leghorn 2. That boy's about as sharp as a bowling ball. - Foghorn Leghorn 3. Always carry a litter bag in your car. It doesn't take up much space, and when it gets full you can just throw it out the window. - Steve Martin 4. If you fill a swimming pool with dry ice, and let it melt, can you then swim in it and not get wet? - Steven Wright 5. I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away. - Jack Handey 6. I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye. - Jack Handey 7. No one can pull the wool over my eyes. Cashmere maybe, but wool, never. - Thurston Howell III (Gilligan's Island) 8. When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned. - Mark Twain 9. I'm a little mean, but I make up for it by bein' real healthy. - Ernest T. Bass (Rock throwing genius on The Andy Griffith Show) 10. Gun-drawing practice, ten minutes every day. If I ever have to use this baby, I want to teach it to come to papa in a hurry. - Barney Fife 11. Nip it. You go read any book you can find on the subject of child discipline and you'll find every one of them is in favor of bud-nipping. - Barney Fife 12. If brains was lard, that boy wouldn't have enough to grease a skillet. - Jed Clampett 13. I've got a wife, two kids and 10 finance companies to support. How am I supposed to pay my bills? - George Jetson |
|
---|
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Thursday Thirteen #29
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment