Grrr! NASCAR Wanna-Bes

Please excuse me while I repeatedly punch a brick wall with my bare knuckles.

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Why do people honk at other people the instant the light turns green? I mean, get real, people. We live in Florida, not New York City, Rome, or Paris. Give them a few seconds to take their foot off of the brake, and press the gas pedal, and another second for the car to start moving. Ditto if they have a standard and need to ease the clutch out. If it's obvious they are reading the paper or putting on makeup, honk away, but otherwise, chill out you imbecil.

After having lived in Dallas, Texas for three years. And after having lived in Atlanta for three years. And after having grown up and learned to drive in Louisiana...

my opinion is that Florida has the worst, most inconsiderate, and moronic drivers I have ever seen. And Brevard county takes the cake.

I have long ago learned to drive with absolute adherence to all the motor laws I can recall. I EVEN USE TURN SIGNALS. EVEN WHEN CHANGING LANES! I think I'm the only person in the state who does this.

I hate feeling like an outcast for doing the right thing.

Except for maybe averaging 5mph over the speed limit. I do tend to let my speed creep up.

So when some hothead tailgates me, I tap my brakes and wait for the horn and finger. It's my way of letting him know that if he wants to go fast, then go around me, and his response lets me know he got my message.

When I KNOW I'm driving correctly and you want me to speed up, in the right hand lane? Get over yourself, Buddy. It ain't happenin'.

Don't want to let me over so that I can turn left just up the road? No problem. I plan ahead and LONG before I have to turn left, I change over to the left lane and drive the speed limit.

Yeah. It makes people angry when I do that, but in a short time after moving here, I missed my left turn several times because people wouldn't let me over. So that's my strategy now; get over there plenty early.

I've come up with a theory as to why this is so. Wanna hear it?

There are more NASCAR stickers of all types down here than any other place I could imagine. Maybe it's our proximity to Daytona.

I think everyone here lives out their silly NASCAR fantasies every time they take the wheel. "You ain't passin' ME Pal!" and "You ain't movin' over to MY lane!" seems to be the universal refrains.

For these idiots, traffic is a competition. And by golly, they're determined to win. After all, Dale Earnhart wouldn't let me over either.

And Dude, I really do hate that Dale Earnhart died due to injuries in a race, but the 3ft X 4 ft 'In Memory Of...' shrine on the back of your NEW Yukon is a bit much. Let the man rest in peace already. I can deal with it on a 10 year old car, you've probably had it on there since the day Auto Zone first got them in after his death, but on a New car? Get a grip fella.

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Oh. And that nice smooth, half-mile on ramp onto I-95?

That's for you to have plenty of room to get up to 70mph and then merge carefully onto the highway.

If you merge over and you're still doing 40-60mph, YOU ARE A DANGER TO EVERYONE AROUND YOU!

I know I've said that here before, but I'm being ignored.

It's really not much of a problem for you though, I'm sure. Knuckleheads like you leave a trail of death and destruction behind you while you scurry off unscathed.

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Ok. Now that I have faced the brisk wind and spit a big ol' loogie, what shall we talk about?

Ah, forget it.

I think I'll stop here and move over to Cute Overload for some puppies and kittens and cute stuff like that.

That usually cools me off.

Maybe I should have thought of that before writing today. But what would I have talked about then?

Just as well.